Mama versus bedtime

Usually, the crazy whirlwind that is evening -- cajoling kids to eat their food (not play with it, fling it around, or wear it) and sit at the table (not under it or on top of it or running around it); cleaning up the dinner mess (and it's always a mess); nursing Roman and getting him ready for bed while the older two screech and throw things and compare 'wee-wees' in the shower; cleaning teeth and slathering both kids with lotion and helping Reni decide which pajamas to wear (not always as straightforward a task as one might imagine); and juggling sleepy/fussy baby while reading bedtime stories and watching bedtime videos and answering a kajillion 'why' questions from both kiddos -- leaves me drained and feeling slightly like I have gone to war and lost all the little battles but won the final, pyrrhic victory of having all kids asleep at the same time. And then I limp downstairs and lick my wounds and ready myself for another day.

Tonight went quite smoothly, all things considered, and I'm writing here instead of cleaning dinner off the floor and finishing the dishes or folding the laundry or any number of useful things I could be doing because something amazing happened tonight: Anika started reading.

She has been staying up past Reni's bedtime for the past few months, and after Roman's arrival it's been a blessing because it is really the only time I have to spend with her during school days. We'd just finished building one of the castles with her new, big kid lego set -- carefully following the instructions the entire way, as per her request -- and she picked up a library book and asked if she could help me read it. She usually does this, and then repeats each word after me, tracing the letters with her fingers. Tonight, however, she took the lead and started sounding out the words -- roar, dinosaur, owl, turtle, the…..all these words she sounded out and figured out on her own. Granted, the book is called "Dinosaur versus the Library," so she was using cues along the way, but still - she sounded out words, and started to read right in front of me. She's still awake as I type this, 'reading' her Fancy Nancy book while tucked under her covers, and I swear part of me just wants to freeze-frame this, her golden curls and her yellow heart pajamas and her shining brown eyes and Rosita cradled under her arm. Growing up is so bittersweet, and I just hope I'm not so exhausted that I forget these moments.