Party of Five

It's been a whirlwind 10 days of snuggles, sleep deprivation, and lots of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Having Armando home has helped tremendously, because between Reni and Roman I'm back and forth getting them to go back to sleep (or, in Roman's case, changing diapers and nursing) most of the night and spend my days trying not to spill my second cup of coffee and keep my sense of humor when things like this happen:

- Ani and Reni giggling uncontrollably, and me foolishly smiling thinking they are playing nicely together when suddenly Anika flits downstairs and busts out, between bursts of that musical, bouncing laugh of hers, "Reni peed on my carpet! AGAIN!!!!" followed by a bare-butt Reni, running and guffawing and thinking he is the most hilarious guy ever.

- Ani and Reni screeching at each other, or pawing at each other like wild animals, fighting over something like a broken cardboard box or a leaky marker or who gets to sit THISCLOSE to baby Roman's head while reading bed time stories.

- Ani telling me she loves the baby "more than Reni" and Reni now repeating his own version of the same: "I love the baby so SO much, 1000 times, so much more than I love Anika."

I find it curious how their jealousies and adjustments to a new sibling have manifested in them disliking each other more and fighting more often than usual. They still have their BFF moments for sure, but lately these are overshadowed by the constant fighting and bickering and sparing over lap space and attention and who-gets-to-be-first. Armando and I are doing our best to be fair and reasonable, but there is only so much of us to go around, and we are now outnumbered. I'm trying to remember to take deep breaths, to find it flattering and wonderful that I am so needed by such wonderful kids, and most of all, to keep guzzling my coffee so that I'm at least awake enough to not drop the baby while I'm cooking dinner and putting a cap back onto one of Ani's markers and trying not to trip over Reni as he sits on the floor pouring over one of his new books about space. I know I will miss these days, and I am enjoying every snuggle, every kiss, every moment of laughter as much as I can. I've got a stack of insurance paperwork to figure out, we have to start packing up non-essentials in the house, and the laundry seems to have quadrupled overnight, but for now I'm trying to sit and snuggle as much as I can.

And remember things like this:

- Roman opening his eyes and looking at me, and me feeling like he's really starting to recognize me and know when I'm about to change his diaper or feed him, and sensing such an aura of calmness and maturity in him, to the point where Armando observed, "You are so much calmer with this baby than you were with the other two."

- Reni holding Roman and batting those gorgeously long, dark lashes of his across the baby's cheek and cooing and smiling and gasping, "Look at his tiny little fingers! And his tiny little toes! My toes and fingers are so big compared to baby Roman's. How did my bones get so big? When will Roman be big?"

- Anika looking at the calendar and asking, "does that say Jonathan [January]?" or asking, "Why does my light switch say 'no'?" [she's reading 'on' backwards] or starting to sound out words like cat and the and I and and. She spends the last moments before sleep pouring over her new Fancy Nancy book, and I can hear her making up stories and songs and sounding out some of the titles to herself.

- Eating dinner the other night, Anika devouring an entire fillet of fish and all her broccoli and declaring that it is "BEST DINNER EVER!" and Reni, not quite convinced, picking at the fish on his plate and asking if it has bones. When Armando says no, Reni, indignant, his eyes shining with confidence, "But fish DO have bones. Grandpa told me so." Then we had to launch into an entire discussion about fish bones and cleaning fish before eating them, which turned into a barrage of questions about dinosaur bones and human bones and if there are bones on Mars or Venus ("Mercury is too hot for bones," he informed us). This boy is obsessed, at the moment, with bones and anything to do with space. We now have equally high stacks of super hero and space books from the library, and it's surprising how much the kids actually retain. Armando found an app about the planets, and it shows how day and night work on earth, and the kids are mildly obsessed with this as well. Every time we read a book or see a character on TV, Reni asks, "Are they in North America? Like us?" Both of them can point out several of the continents on a map.

It's fun to see the world through new eyes, and I'm grateful that our children are helping us rediscover what's really important. Sometimes I wish for more sleep, or more time to eat and shower and actually feel like a person rather than a mom/maid/milking cow/servant/conflict negotiator/garbage disposal/nurse/punching bag, but overall I'm loving this party of five thing way more than I thought possible.