Sibling Chivalry

The scene: preschool playground, noon-ish

The characters: Anika, Reni, and an unidentified member of Anika's Goldfish class

The low-down:

I arrived at pick-up time to a report from Reni's teachers that he had taken on an older child, one in Anika's class, during recess. Apparently he pinched the older boy and threw sand at him. The teachers had written up a comment card and as Miss Laura handed me the card, we talked about discipline and what to do if he displays this type of behavior again. It's so unlike him, she said. We aren't sure what got into him. I pulled Reni aside, squeezed between the backpacks and lunch bags and paint-smeared cotton ball art that adorns his classroom's cubby area during pick-up time each afternoon, and gave him a hug. I looked at him, all sweet sugary brown eyes and messy sandy (literally and figuratively) blonde hair and pot belly, and asked, Reni, did you have a good day?

Yes, mama, he said, between chews of his granola bar, I have a good day.

Did you pinch a kid on the playground? And throw sand? I asked.

He stopped chewing. Anika made me a sand castle, he said. Did the older boy knock it down? I asked. Yes, he said, then smiled and grabbed my hand and said, I have a good day, mama! I like school! as he led me to Anika's classroom.

After ushering Anika and her ten pounds of art work and backpack and leftover lunch and juice box down the hallway a bit, I asked her, did you and Reni have an altercation with a boy in your class on the playground? Yes, she said, matter-of-factly. He knocked down my sand castle so Reni pinched him and threw sand at him.

I wasn't sure whether to feel angry or embarrassed or proud by this display of sibling loyalty and chivalry. I mostly felt relieved, as now Reni's behavior made sense (the teachers hadn't seen the sand castle portion of the incident, and thought Reni was acting out of character for an inexplicable reason).

And -- I'll admit it -- I felt proud. Proud that my kids are, despite all the bickering and hitting and screeching like howler monkeys, best buddies 'til the very end. Defenders of sand castles big and small. I am touched by Reni's display of loyalty, and by Anika's unabashed acceptance of it.