Mother's Day Fail

You know it's not a good weekend when you're at the grocery store, one kid is trying to throw himself out of the baby carrier and is screaming because he's tired and uncomfortable and let him MOVE and PULL THINGS OFF THE SHELF GODDARN IT and the other kid keeps climbing out of the car cart (the one you spent 20 minutes searching for in the parking lot) and demanding things like cookies and fruit snacks and then, suddenly, starts screeching like her scalp is being pulled off because you said no to chocolate-covered pretzels (mostly because you know you'll be the one eating the lion's share of those and your tummy, cinched into the Beco so you've got quite the muffin-top going, says you don't need the calories). And then, you have to make good on your threat to put her in the cart, and as you pick her up, she and he throw themselves back simultaneously and BAM, you hit the grocery store floor because it feels like your back just got burned off with a taser.

And the chiropractor is closed and you have to have nice, friendly people in housecoats and smoky-smelling flip-flops help you to your car and you have NO food in the house except a few fruit snacks and chocolate-covered pretzels (hey, how'd THOSE get there?)

And then on Mother's Day both kids refuse to nap even though they are both teething and both exhausted from going to bed at 10 and waking up at 5:30, and the husband is at Best Buy looking at monitors for the new security system and your back is hurting like crazy, and you finally get them to sleep and an hour later Reni launches himself out of your bed and gives himself a huge lump over his left eyebrow.

Yeah, Mother's Day 2012 fail. We'll see you in 2013 for a do-over. This one had better contain breakfast in bed and absolutely no bruises or pulled back muscles.