Deep thoughts by Reni

Yesterday, at lunch, a conversation revolving entirely around boobs and reproductive things, because, DUH he's 3 1/2 and he likes to ask why about everything, especially if it's something most of us aren't that comfortable talking about:

R: Mama, why are your boobs so big?

M: Well, it's food for the baby.

R: Does the baby have big boobs or small boobs?

M: The baby doesn't have boobs because he's just a baby and also because he's a boy.

R: Why are my boobs small? Why do boys have small boobs?

M: Technically, buddy, you don't have boobs. You have nipples but not boobs. Because you won't ever need to make milk to feed a baby.

R: But why? Because only mamas have babies? And daddies don't?

M: That's right, buddy.

R: How come daddies don't get to feed the babies?

M: Well, they can feed babies with a bottle but the milk comes from the mommies.

R: How do babies get in the belly? How come you and daddy decided to put the baby there?

M: Because we love you and we love Anika and we wanted to give you the chance to be a big brother and teach your baby brother things.

R: I'm going to teach him to be a ninja.

M: And what will that look like?

R: (slipping out of chair, flying across the room and doing a series of scissor kicks and 'hay-yah!s')
(laughing hysterically)

M: That's really good, buddy!

R: My ninja name is Lighting Fire Smelly Socks (sticks sock-covered foot in my face). Smell my socks. Very smelly!! (kicks my nose)
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Today, while talking about Anika's upcoming birthday:

Reni: How come it's not MY birthday?

Ani: Reni, your birthday will come, but it won't be for a hundred thirty sixty days.

Me: Yes, Reni, your birthday is in the summertime and it's just the beginning of wintertime now.

R: But what month?

M: June

A: But what day?

M: the 25th. How old will you be, Reni, at your next birthday?

A: I'm going to be five!! And Reni will be four!

R: But I want to be TEN

M: Why ten?

R: So I can be bigger than daddy and be a superhero and teach the baby things.

A: Reni, when I'm ten you will be -- eight, right, mama? (high fives ensue).

R: After Anika's birthday, THEN will it be Christmas, and THEN will Grandma and Grandpa get here, and THEN will it finally be time for the baby to come out of your belly?

M: yes, buddy. Almost time.

R: (audible sigh) WHY does it take so so SO LONG? I want it to be Christmas YESTERDAY! (stomps foot).